April 5th 2013

Following the leading, or the voice of the Holy Spirit, can be a matter of life or death at times! The Holy Spirit always leads in line with the Word of God!

I have had many experiences in my life where listening and yielding to the Holy Spirit has spared not only my life, but others as well. 

In today's blog I want to share one of those experiences. 

Before giving birth to my first son, back in January of 1983, I was praying and believing God for a safe, natural, childbirth. I heard other woman confess the scripture, Mark 11: 24- that whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them? And you will have them. In doing so, many had natural births without any complications. I liked the idea of this powerful truth, so I "tried" doing what others had done, to achieve their results. I mentally agreed with this scripture and thought that was all I needed in giving me the desire of my heart. After all, it's in the bible? What I did not understand at the time was that one cannot formulate results by taking on the actions of others. Especially when those actions were born of an individual's personal relationship with God, resulting in faith coming from a revelation of the Word of God! 

Remember the nugget from my last blog, "anything from the head is dead"? This was the beginning of my journey in learning that mentally assenting to the scriptures, without growing up in faith and intimacy with my Lord, would not bring about the desires I wanted. 

Only by being totally honest with what was really going on inside my heart, and listening to the still small voice of the Holy Spirit, did I receive an answer for my situation. 

John 8:32 - states, "And you shall know (perceive, understand, recognize, realize) the truth, and the truth shall make you free." 

Here was my situation. - I was confessing for months that I was going to have a natural childbirth, when one afternoon while sitting on my sofa, the Holy Spirit interrupted me! I heard, very softly in my spirit, "you're having a caesarean "! I almost jumped! I then rebuked what I thought to be the devil, because it wasn't what "I" had been confessing or wanted! I could not shake the velvety feel of peace on the inside of me after hearing those words? I was at a cross road? Do I push what I want, or listen to what was coming from what I now know to be the Holy Spirit?

Here was the problem. - I had two doctors giving me two different opinions! Right after hearing the word caesarean, my doctor informed me that I was having a baby well over 9 lbs, and while others could deliver big babies, he felt my frame too small. He advised a caesarean. Something strange happened when he said that. The same velvety feel of peace that I experienced on the sofa happened at the doctors office!? I didn't have to give him an answer right away, and was to see a younger doctor the following week. 

Another opinion ! - The younger doctor gave me an opinion that my head wanted to hear! He said that even if the baby is big, the doctor could give me what is called pitosin, to bring on my labor and help push the baby out! Now, my soul was happy with what I just heard, but something strange again happened on the inside of my spirit or (heart). Instead of the velvety peace, their was a sense of unrest ? I left the office puzzled, confused, and unsettled! I had a choice to make? Why couldn't I just get what I really desired? I learned that the walk of faith is more than just following someone else's script for my life, and requires honesty as well as humility. The honesty part came when I began to see I was really very afraid of going under the knife. My confession was more an action of convincing myself than really trusting God! 

The decision - I thankfully decided to go with my heart , rather than with my head. 

The result - I ended up having a caesarean and giving birth to a 9 lb 12  1/2  oz.  baby boy who was also 23 inches long! He was 2 weeks late, and I was 2 days in lazy labor because he could not drop into the birthing position due to a huge head! My baby boy, named John Michael, was also in distress because the umbilical chord was wrapped around his neck. Also, because of my baby's size, he stretched and tore my womb in what is called a "window" on the uterus. If I had been given pitosin like the younger doctor had wanted, I could have ruptured my womb, jeopardizing not only my life, but the life of my baby, already in distress! Thankfully I and my baby were healthy and had no complications! 

The lessons learned - My Lord answered my prayer for a beautiful healthy baby and for my health! It didn't happen the way I wanted, but God knows the end from the beginning, not me! He also knows our frame, and deals with us according to the truth of where we really are developmentally, not where we want to be. I also learned that the flesh has a voice as well as the Holy Spirit. Sometimes one will get confirmations to back up both those voices, like I did with the two doctors! At that point it's imperative to know the voice of the Holy Spirit, and always yield to Him! The results will be life, peace and safety! The voice of the flesh may gratify our wants for a time, but will produce restlessness, confusion, and sometimes even death! 

Nugget - "It pays to obey the Holy Spirit"!